What moves you...

To say the least, this evening was heart-rending. A notable and glorious friend and I chatted about our respective losses, minuscule individuals, and wretched and unfortunate past we are unable to change.

My sister, freshly returning from a long weekend in Pennsylvania instant messaged me on Facebook to let me know her 22 year old ex-boyfriend has Stage 2 Congestive Heart Failure. Immediately, I lost my composure as well as my words. Not only did I empathize with him but this sparked a full body surge of hellish weeps, tears and shivers. Once again, looked directly in the face by illness and death I lose all bearing and lose all sense and strategy of how to cope.

At the tender age of 15, on July 29, 1999, my father was diagnosed with Amyloidosis. Such a horrific, rare and fatal disease. At the time the doctor's predicted that we would have 6 months - two years with him. Tell me, how does an almost sophomore in high school swallow that? Even worse how does an 8, 11 and 12

year old comprehend that? Immediately following his diagnosis, my Uncle and Grandma relocated to Camp Hill, Pennsylvania to be with my family during what turned out to be my worst nightmare and my fathers final months here on earth. Between 4 adults and

4 children, we shared an 750 sq ft, 3 bedroom rented apartment and fought a strong fight against abnormal proteins. From what I can remember we tried everything, home remedies, radiation, and acupuncture. Unfortunately, the abnormal proteins built up faster than we would ever imagine attacking his heart, lungs, liver and kidneys. He was taken from us on January 27, 2000. To this day, I am unable to wrap my head around the fact that my 43 year old father, fell victim to chronic illness. Ten years later the exact cause of Amyloidosis is unknown and is currently still incurable.